Low Incidence Disabilities

      Autism is a spectrum that ranges in severity from mild to severe. It is a general umbrella term for many disorders including Aspergers Syndrome. One defining characteristic is difficulty with social skills and interaction. They tend to struggle with understanding emotion and don't embrace human contact. These children tend to have a narrow range of interests and don't process verbal and non-verbal communication very well (which is why social interactions are difficult). These children tend to overload on stress rather quickly. In fact, sensory overload is very common where too much noise or stimuli becomes overwhelming and those with autism look for ways to neutralize that stimuli (ex. hitting oneself). There is much diversity in those with autism with various strengths and weaknesses. 
     Those with intellectual disabilities tend to have a very limited learning capacity and/ or their rate of learning is slower. These children tend to need a lot of review, practical application, and slowness when learning. Practical application is essential because these children tend to struggle with connecting what they have learned to other things. For example, they may struggle to connect a story about sharing with an opportunity to share in their own life. Review is essential because not only is learning slower but retaining information I can be a struggle for them. These children won't always be able to learn the same information as other students and modifications will be varied based on individual needs. There are many natural supports like peers and classroom structure that can ease and reinforce learning.
     Students with multiple disabilities often have an exceedingly high number of needs. Usual these disabilities are an intellectual disability along with a physical or sensory impairment. Extra professionals like physical and occupational therapists are often needed to support these students. These students often have limited speech and struggle to express their needs to others. AAC systems are one way people compensate.
      Deaf-Blindness is a double sensory impairment where the child is typically not totally blind or totally deaf. These children struggles to move around the classroom, engage in activities, and understand how to perform simple tasks that others take for granted. Some have above average intelligences, but often they have intellectual disabilities (partially due to their two other disabilities). 
      Sensory Impairments are when vision or hearing loss affects the child's education. Visual impairments are when a child cannot see, cannot see well, or cannot see well without assistance of some sort. These children vary in intellectual ability but find visual learning less accessible. These children need help being oriented around the classroom and need help with modifications in learning materials and instruction to help compensate for visual loss. Students that are deaf or hard of hearing have the same range of intellectual ability as anyone else. They too struggle to access their world and find ways to compensate through techniques like sign language and mouth reading. These students can sometimes be socially and emotionally immature because they lack the etiquette needed to listen and they have lost a channel to help them develop social skills. Subtitles for movies and writing on the board are two ways to compensate. 
       Orthopedic Impairments are those that effect the mobility of the child in the bones, joints, and muscles. This includes cerebral palsy which is the largest group of those who have orthopedic impairments. Palsy comes from a brain injury before, during, or after birth. Some of these children need head supports and wheelchairs, while others just have a minimal loss of control. some lose control in various places like the arms or neck. Spinal cord injuries most often come from automobile accidents and can result in partial or full paralysis.
     For students with health impairments, it's important to find out which students have the most difficult problems, provide materials for those students about others with that disability, consider death education in your curriculum if you know the child's impairment to be life-threatening, and work closely with families. Traumatic Brain Injury comes from external physical force exerted on the head, which leads to brain damage. This can happen from issues like shaken baby syndrome, falls, automobile accidents, sporting accidents etc. These people can look like they did prior to the injury but have significant learning and social issues. These children may struggle to remaster skills they once knew. There may be accommodations needed in the classroom, but those will vary greatly from student to student. Work in partnership with parents to find out the exact nature of the child's struggle.
       Poverty is a very interesting issue because the effects can be subtle and less easy to address. Children can be labeled as disabled when really they just don't have the temporal, cognitive, emotional, or social resources needed to represent their knowledge. However, when these deficits are too wide, especially during early childhood, then poverty can create a disability. For example, nutrition deficits in early childhood can cause cognitive delays. 

Simulations and Reading

This week I did my stuttering and learning disability simulations. I decided to do the learning disability first because it seemed a little less daunting. I went to the post office to send a package. The process of trying to speak was really interesting. It was so much more of a process and so much more complicated. I started by trying to ask the post office lady something but I kept accidentally using the "l" and "n" sound which made me more tense and stuttered. One patron helped me with the question I asked the postal worker and I couldn't think of a way to say "Thank you" so I said other round-about phrases and expressions to express pleasure. I also complimented her baby to help compensate. The lady in line at the post office showed some of us a picture but by the time I thought of what to say the moment had past. I noticed myself getting quite during the experience. I planned what I would say to the other post office man, but the whole conversation was really awkward. Unreplaceable words like "when" "also" "and" "no" were off-limits. For "no" I said "It's ok."My conversation was really vague and round about. I didn't want to look him in the eyes.

I then went to Broulims where I tried to ask a worker more than one question but they were so fast and efficient in answering my questions and directing me to the right place that I just decided to ask multiple people where things were. For one worker I asked where, "the chips and dip" were. Since I could use "and" I made mumbling filler sound. In fact, I ended up using a lot of filler sounds and noises either to compensate for what I couldn't say or because I was nervous. I use a lot of "ums" and "uhs" and "ahs." I couldn't ask a worker where the salsa was so I asked if he knew where the 'Pace' (its a salsa brand) Pica was. I pretended I didn't couldn't remember the last part of the wor was because it had l's in it. The worker guessed I meant pica de guillo and led me to the fresh pica. However, this wasn't the place I was looking for, but I acted happy (I knew where the salsa was though so it didn't matter). In the check-out line I thought I'd try asking the lady about renewing my Broulims card and getting a roll of quarters. I had to get creative when asking for the roll of quarters and she still needed to guess what I was thinking.

I then went to the library for my stutter. By the look of the front counter woman's face she was slightly confused at first and then her face shifted and she became pleasant and showed me where the parenting books were. I asked the woman at that section of the library if she knew where the parenting books were. She seemed a little more odd about my stutter, possibly because I don't have the gift of acting, maybe because she took the class, but most likely I was just reading her wrong. I asked her some other questions like where to put the books when I'm done and if I needed to be a resident to get a library card. I then went back to the front desk to ask the front woman about the library card and told her I would come back. They seemed more at ease with what I said over time. In the mini-bookstore I had to be quiet during this one woman's comments (luckily she was mostly talking to someone else) and just make affirming noises because it was a struggle to think of what to say that was appropriate.

After that I went to Taco Bell. I hope the person at the front guy didn't recognize me because I have been to Taco Bell before (luckily I'm graduating this semester so I don't have to run into any of these people again). Either way, I asked questions about my order and the guy was pretty nice. He too seemed to make slight shifts in our conversation. I later asked what his preference was between the two desserts and made a slightly funny comment at the end but it came out more mumbled and backhanded so he didn't respond. 

After this experience I definitely see why some of those people I have known with special needs have been more quiet, reserved, and didn't look at people during in their conversation. It took significant mental effort to speak, saying the right thing and not being misunderstood was always a concern, and I feared being judge. I definitely would prefer having a stutter to having a learning disability because I feel I would be less misunderstood. The disability is obvious and less misconstrued as other things. In fact, I found myself more comfortable stuttering because I didn't have to worry about using the wrong words. I was free to say what I want. I definitely feel more for those who have those struggles.

      Chapter twelve touched on positive behavior guidance (PBT). As skilled we may be at handling children's behavior, nothing compensates for prevention, which involves creating a stress-free environment and classroom structure that doesn't ware on children's emotional and cognitive resources. The emotional environment involves strategies like catching children being good, having positive and clear communication, building a relationship with the students, and creating a foundation of respect and trust, use humor to diffuse tension, and make high-probability requests first (ones that they can easily accomplish). It's best to be as gentle as possible with children. Children can internalize and remember sharp words regardless of whether or not we have apologized. Some of these softer preventative and standard PBT methods are social reinforcers like positive peer models and giving small group and large group rewards if everyone meets the standard. Removing things that reinforce the negative behavior is another effective method. Children can have factors in their environment that encourage children to react in certain ways. It's not just the class environment but the overall school environment can really set the tone for children. 

          This week my group presented on poverty. I was drawn to this subject because the impact of poverty can be really overlooked. Children can be labeled as having a special need when really they don't have the social, emotional, cognitive, or temporal resources that come from being in a higher socio-economic status. For example, a child might be labeled ADHD because he or she is lazy, distractible, or rebellious during school when really the child's disinterest comes from a poverty mentality which implicitly teaches that there is little value in schooling and education, partially because the child will most likely end up in a similar situation the parents are in regardless of grades. A child might be labelled as having a learning disability and may be assigned to resource rooms when really the child struggles because he or she didn't have an enriching environment as a foundation to learning new skills. It's difficult to learn to read in school when the child isn't in a home where language development is considered, and where there are no books to practice 'emerging literacy.' When children are hungry, tired from helping around at home, don't have a coat to keep warm or are focused on stresses and struggles at home they tend to focus less on school and the tasks at hand. It's unfair to compare children according to intelligence and aptitude when really one child just has different resources than another. We have to consider what children have to work with when we measure their progress, effort, and success.

         I liked how Brother Cloward talked about how we can effect these children. There are so many ways we can bridge the gaps that poverty creates. Firstly, I like to think that taking control and inventory of resources and managing money allows people to have more to give. I know people who don't feel like they ever have enough money to give but that's partially because they aren't careful with their funds are let money slip in unnecessary ways. There are so many ways to enhance resources in cheap ways (ex. planting fruit trees). Not only should be make sure that we have something to give but we should learn about the resources in the area because the community can have a lot more to offer families in poverty (or those with language and cultural barriers as mentioned by the group presentation before us) than they know about. It's important that we make a special effort to be close to those children so we can know what their struggles and needs are. This will allow us to tailor our assistance for their specific situation. One day a child in poverty might need educational assitance and the next day they may need a coat. If we aren't close we might assist the child in a way that is nice but not needed. 

          The group that presented before us touched on language barriers. I can't imagine what it would be like to try to go to college in another country where I knew minimal words but I assume I would feel overwhelmed and would want to give up quickly. It's easy to see how children in this situation tend to lose interest in learning. Some find innovative ways to barely 'get by' but these techniques render very little real learning. 

          In class we talked about making sure our assignments and tests are constructed in a correct way. We got into groups to fix an assignment that wasn't written right. It's incredible how many times I have misunderstood assignments or test questions because they weren't written well and the ambiguity confused me. We need to make sure that our instruments to assess children aren't misrepresentative of the child's knowledge because the child was tripped up by an erroneous detail.

       This week we discussed ways we can help  students progress. This is an interesting topic because there are so many possible methods to monitor children and have them monitor themselves. However, the most important thing for a child to learn involves children taking responsibility of their own education. Self-Advocacy involves children telling adults what their needs are. This derives from an internal need and motivation that is called self-determination. When children have this self-determination then they can take control of their own learning through means like self-instruction, talking oneself through a concept, self-questioning, asking oneself questions in order to guide learning and comprehension, and self-monitoring, tracking their own progress through various techniques.

     While working with children I have realized that many times techniques to learning are nice embellishments and that the core of learning comes from the child's inner-motivation. It is true that children can become motivated and enlightened by a new technique that illustrates the concept beautifully and meaningfully but generally the drive comes from first understanding why they are learning it and then they will reach out to these techniques in order to more better master the concept or skill. 

     When children have that motivation, it's important to channel it through reading, writing, math and other subject based techniques that allow for more organized and precise learning. It's important that the technique doesn't get in the way of the learning. I found that our in-class self-monitoring activity was more of a distraction and a worry for me than a useful tool. However, others probably disagreed. It depends on the person. Of these techniques strong sequencing is the most essential because it creates a hierarchy for children to create mental structures. This kind of learning is what transfers random disjointed facts into knowledge and wisdom. Children need to know why information is related to each other if they want to use it for good. All truth can be controlled and manipulated for good when the rules and reasoning behind that truth is understood (as President Russell M Nelson says). 

      This week we talked about differentiation. This means that you change your curriculum in order to accommodate to children's specific needs. A teacher may accomplish this in a large group by rotating through different teaching styles and mediums or in a more direct individual way. This is really important because some children learn in different ways. Some children are more visual learners while some are more audio or kinesthetic learners. Furthermore, some children just think differently so they may need to have a concept illustrated in a different way. For example, one some aspect of a diagram may just click for a child while asking specific questions to group mates may help another child fill gaps in knowledge about a topic. When differentiating it's essential to assess where the child is at and assess the child after you teach the concept. This ensures that progress is made. For children with special needs it's important to give small amounts of information at a time and allow for much review. Demonstrations, illustrations, and explanations help illustrate concepts. Careful sequencing helps these children build on what they know by making appropriate connections.
      For class we practiced teaching differentiation. Our group decided to teach how to whistle with your hands. I was very intimidated by teaching this skill because I didn't know how to and I didn't feel I could teach myself. We scaffolded to see how many knew how to do the skill. No one really knew. We had one main teacher and a few other group mates who knew some aspects of the skill and went around teaching it. Those that learned quickly practiced and helped others. In this class I felt like the students knew more than me about the subject which doesn't really happen to me (but will definitely happen more and more). This reminded me the importance of preparing and being humble. Some people can really proud and upset when they find out their students (or coworkers or those 'beneath them' in ranking) know more. If we are really seeking for truth then we should be willing to learn from others. It was interesting how much more effective the instruction got as everyone taught each other. I have noticed that children learn in a special way when taught by peers, a way that teachers can't replicate. I was finally able to learn to do the whistle and then teach others.
      I liked the structure of the group that taught us. They assessed our knowledge about conducting and put us into either beginner or an advanced/intermediate group. The way they taught with the visuals on the whiteboard was really effective. I want to make sure my teaching is as simple, intentional, and organized as theirs was.

I'm kind of sad that we don't have much class since this class is part hybrid and other things seem to get in the way. Perhaps some of the disconnect is because I really need to catch up with embracing more of my Higher, Wider, Deeper assignment before it's due. However, although we didn't have class on Monday I still liked the class-time we had on Wednesday.
    In class we got into groups and tried different scenarios to simulate a speech delay. In my group we had people put marshmallows into their mouths and try to speak. The first girl to put them into her moth wasn't able to fit that many marshmallows before she couldn't fit anymore. It was difficult to understand what she was saying. She reported being a little frustrated because we tried to guess what she was saying and this slowed down her process of being able to say what she had to say. I need to remember to that, and let those with speech impairments finish their sentences, not only because it may speed the conversation up, but because it allows the person speaking to be independent and to develop their language ability. We don't want to have children who rely on adults or older siblings to speak for them, it shrinks their talents. The second volunteer was able to put a considerable number in, but even then we could barely understand him and he had to resort to charades. The fact that he was able to put in so many mar mallows and still speak some words, while the first volunteer could only speak with a few, reminded me that we shouldn't assume we know what a child is capable of just because we have had experience with children with the same disability (even at the same level of disability). Different children have different capacities, emotions, experiences, and struggles as well as different development and experiences in their cognitive, social, and physical domains. One child have disadvantages that we don't understand and might have had to worm really hard to get to where he or she is at.
      In class we discussed the debilitating effects of poverty. Poverty can be very misunderstood because we tend to equate it with merely having little money. There can be a humiliating emotional aspect to poverty, because people feel like they can't provide for their families. Social ties can weaken because it's difficult to communicate to people without phones or internet access which is frightening because it means one less safety net if trouble were to trip that family up. We tend to judge others because they are in rough situations, thinking that they brought it upon themselves, and yeah, maybe they did. Maybe those people slipped up one day, but the only difference between them slipping up and those of a higher SES slipping up (which I have done on many occasions but have had the resources to bounce back) is that they didn't have the resources to catch them and so they fell.
Poverty is difficult to leave because poverty tends to breed poverty. those in poverty are less mobile and more likely to marry those in close vicinity who are like-minded. Those in poverty have a different perspective on the world. For example, those in poverty homes tend to have authoritarian parenting, partially because many are in manual labor, low-paying jobs that have an authoritarian mentality to it, an mentality of obeying the boss regardless of the reasoning and severe reprimand for non-compliance to the current work structure. This mentality can be perpetuated through generations.
     In chapter 8 we read about disabilities like poverty, substance abuse, and ADHD. The spectrum of issues with these disabilities is great and many of these children aren't disabled enough to need an IEP. However, many of these children are on the outskirts of learning and merely need a teacher to reach out and draw them back in. For example, some children with parents involved in substance abuse have difficulty trusting adults, including teachers. Teachers need to consider ways to connect with these children so they can feel secure and engage more in learning without the need of accommodations, modifications or specialized assistance. Children with ADHD may just need a buddy to help them keep focus, some breaks to move around, and a little more of hands on activities. These children may just need someone to help bridge gaps in their learning.
      For those children who have a language barrier, they may need a better working vocabulary before they are ready for full language immersion. As we watched in a video, some children shut down when they are overwhelmed by the language barrier. Some try to gain some receptive language skills by copying what students write and by writing what the teacher says; however, while this receptive effort may teach them something, there is still a gap of knowledge that the child can't bridge. Neither child's reaction was incorrect, both just need help in order to understand better.

Well the test this week was interesting. Honestly, I struggle to get class readings done (partially because I feel the need to read through them like a novel, which they aren't) for most of my classes so it's sometimes nice to have tests that.
(1) Get me to read the text and....
(2) Get me to read the text in an interesting and critical thinking way, since I am actually looking for answers.
         I'm hoping to read next weeks text the same way I read the text for the test. I liked that our test was essay question format and I could discuss what I knew instead of trying to see if I remembered some erroneous detail from the text in order to choose between two multiple choice answers that both look correct if viewed in different lights. I liked talking with my group before the test because I found that teaching others was the best way for me to learn the material (and also I was just happy that they were learning it). The group test was nice because we definitely all had different things to emphasize on our concept maps. One group member is taking the law class, and so laws and their implications were more on her mind than mine.
         It's interesting how high profile statutory laws seem to be built on the foundation of simple (and sometimes regional) case laws and how those statutory laws greatly structure schools. One failed IEP in some obscure town could cause a lawsuit that could create a huge Act or policy that could change the nation, and the ideology of the people (since laws DO effect public opinion, despite what some may say). This can be good and bad. Perhaps if we weren't always suing everyone the law wouldn't have to spell things out for us so explicitly that we are unable to let our conscience govern some issues and those in special needs programs wouldn't feel completely controlled by policies and get burnt out so quickly. It seems implied that IEP's are mainly for ensuring that children get all of the benefits and eligible resources. I wish the parents weren't just satisfied with resources and would come throughout the year to meet with the teachers about the child's learning that was decided on in the IEP. But then again, I wish that parents were more involved in their children's learning in general.
         I liked doing the case study this week where we got with our groups to decide how to modify our curriculum for a student with a possible disorder. I was in the music group and I was surprised with how much we could modify our curriculum in order to better meet the needs of the student. Sometimes, teaching methods can seem so rigid and habitual until you talk with other people and get their input. When we came together into different groups it was interesting to learn how other classmates modified their material to meet the needs of the student because they used different methods that I wouldn't have thought of that seemed based on their Elementary Education background. Someone took notes on one of my ideas. It is interesting how we all try to meet the same needs of a child in different ways. Parents do the same thing with their children.
I didn't do anything with my HWD project this week, which is really uncool but I'm determined to give extra effort to it in the coming weeks. I have done some experimenting with CBT practices and now I want to do some more research and reading based learning.

I really liked the court case study we did in class because I got to play on the both sides of the argument due to the structure of our group. At first I was a family advocate and although I didn't agree with the family's side, I felt I had a lot more to work with on heir side. While there were more policies and arguemeents to be made for the family, I was annoyed that the family seemed to feel entitled to excessive assistance for their son. I wondered why they were 't taking responsibility for their son and instead expecting someone else to foot the bill just because they thought they could get away with it. However, my perspective totally shifted when I played the lawyer for the school board. I realized why I didn't feel Isnside had much to argue. In its purest sense, the family just wanted their son to have the education that every other child in America was privileged to have and the $18,000 needed wasn't for erroneous medical bills but for an aid to give the child continuous care, something that the parents couldn't just do during the school day when they probably had jobs to support their sons other medical bills. I realized that this child didn't have anywhere else to go except for a most likely more expensive facility air to stay at home which would most likely not be the best education considering the family doesn't seem well structured for special education homeschooling. I still think there was more to the discussion in order to find an appropriate solution or at least middle ground. Whether or not the family was overly demanding in real life, I don't know, but they have more of a claim to their case than I thought they did.

It was interesting to do even 20 minutes of a mock Team meeting because I realized that this situation could be very awkward and emotional if the people aren't prepared. As the school psychologist I told what my diagnosis of Esther was. I thought this would be a relief for the family since their possible confusion about their sons problem was labeled and could be treated. I thought they would be happy they would know how to handle their child better and be less frustrated by things she did. However, the social worker felt for the family and talked about how she empathized with them. I didn't think of the emotions that would be involved with a child being labeled as mentally retarded, which is odd because in a normal scenario (where I wasn't wearing the psychologist cap) I normally would. We fumbled in our meeting and I understood why pre-meeting are important, when before I thought of them as excessive. I understood why a relationship and constant interaction with the parents was so necessary to give information in increments instead of bombarding the family every now and then.

I didn't get much reading done for this week, which I have noted on I-Learn, but I have enjoyed the other things we have discussed in class so I could better understand the structure and policies involved in ensuring a good education to those with special needs.

This week I did the wheelchair experience. That was informative. For the first part of it I was in the classroom, which was a lot more fun and carefree. However, soon things got complicated. After class I decided to go into the bathroom to try transferring myself on and off the toilet. Barby opened the door for me on that one. It was difficult to know at what angle to do it but the real problem was doing it without using my feet. When I got out to leave a girl was nice enough to hold the door open for me, but to my embarrassment my wheel got stuck so two other nice girls assisted in pushing and pulling me out of the doorway. One of the girls asked if I needed any more help and I asked where the elevator was. She offered to push me there and I agreed to. I used the door opener to get out and then the real horror ensured. I don't think I realized why people in wheelchairs have gloves, but my giant blister on my hand is a sore testament that downhill wheel-chairing extremely capability of burning off your flesh. I really struggled with going down hill the first time, I struggled to maneuver it, my hands were in a compromising situation and I tried to not go fast. I ran into the grass and got totally stuck but luckily one girl pulled me out, saying she had done it before to. I almost fell back into the grass after she left but I was so emotional about NOT going back into the grass that I put my foot out. I continued down the hill to the Kimball and struggled up the small incline to the doors. One man saw my struggle and pushed me to the door where I hit the wheelchair access button. I went to the financial aid office to set up an appointment for later and then asked the person at the information desk where the scheduling department was at. On my way out I thought I had an opportunity to open the door for myself without assistance but one man saw my struggle and opened the door for me. Nothing could prepare me for uphill, which was the real horror. I think the combination of the hot sun, my weak arms, my heavy backpack and the cautioned off entrance to the Hinckley were all factors to this bad uphill situation, but the main issue is that uphill wheel-chairing is the worst thing ever. Ever. I felt like I was rowing. Making huge rows and only moving forward and inch. As I inched up the hill a man in crutched and a brace was struggling down-hill. I enthusiastically told him we could do this. By the time I got to the mini kiosk of posters right below the Hinckley, I was completely through with rejecting people's polite attempts to push me uphill. I was done with my embarrassing attempts and the horrifying amount of distance I had left. As I calmed myself under the shade of a tree, I accepted a girls offer and she was nice enough to get me to the other entrance. There I was able to go through a door by myself. I rode the elevator up to the Academic Advising center for my appointment. It was awkward to find a place to wait in the waiting area and I had to juggle a trashcan at one point to get to my meeting. The girl I was with laughed about my wheelchair problems with me. She probably sees a lot of wheel-chaired people given her work is right near where people check those out.  After the meeting I got a drink from a drinking fountain, which is more complicated than I thought it would be. It kept running down my face and I felt really juvenile. As I wheeled towards the door I realized how vulnerable I felt in a wheelchair. If someone was coming after me that was it, I hope I have a taser, pepper spray, huge upper-body strength or some serious negotiation skills because if a serial killer was coming for me I was certainly not outrunning them, or anyone else will ill will towards me. I was able to go out the Hinckley doors though the other direction. I wasn't doing that drama of burning my hands off so I got out some paper and used it as a shield between me and the wheelchair. After going to the events office, I once again attempted going uphill but after a while, it wasn't happening, persistence felt completely futile and I accepted a man's offer to rid me of my very slow and awkward wheeling. I had him drop me off at the Kiosk below the Hinckley, and another girl pushed me up the rest of the hill after I struggled and despaired some more. A friend ran into me and pushed me to the Hinckley doors. My weak arms shame me. Everyone was an angel to me, but that's probably out of pity. It's likely that no one wanted to watch my pitiful attempts at wheeling, just like people struggle to watch a baby animal begin it's first awkward steps.

This week was interesting for me. I am still needing to review the laws, but I did appreciate learning about how the government is structured to try to meet the needs of those with disabilities. It's interesting to observe the process of how and why laws were created and what they mean for us today. Necessity really is the mother of invention for many of these laws which sprout not from overall social opinions but from lawsuits. It's incredible how the creating of one law creates implications that encourage other laws to be created. The FAPE law was the springboard for the case that required the school district to fund the child's education-based medical needs (once again I really need to review these laws' names). It was interesting to see how the government decided to break down disabilities under IDEA. It made me wonder why they decided to put some disabilities under IDEA and to leave some just under 504. The main reason must just be that these 13 categories are more inhibiting, but I wonder if there was some other logic behind these categories since the 13 categories seem slightly odd to me (granted I don't know much about disabilities). I wonder how laws will change with social change. Emotional disturbance is becoming more common and more accepted as inhibiting growth and education. With memorial day coming up it makes me think of those with extreme PTSD that are as disturbed as someone with schizophrenia. I  
        As I watched the video that discussed IEP's and the video that illustrated at sort of case study about a school district trying to fix their IEP's I realized how much goes into the IEP process (which gave me an appreciation for my dad who mentioned needing to write some on occasion). I didn't realize how many professionals are needed and how much discussing happens between them to create one. I thought a teacher just wrote an IEP and perhaps worked a little with the parents and touched base with one or two professionals and the administration. I also didn't think about the parents rights in writing the IEP, because I had assumed that an IEP was more related to the school than to the family. However, the parents are almost at the center of an IEP. It was interesting to discover that the main reason for an IEP (at least in my opinion) is to make sure that the child gets the services needed to succeed in getting an education. I thought IEP's were more classroom instruction based. Honestly, I think IEP's and all disability law needs to ease up a bit. We are so focused on numbers and laws to ensure our numbers will look good. No policy can ensure that kids won't slip throughout the class when children become numbers. I have a 'child development' rant related to this subject and I'm just realizing that it's specially connected to children with disabilities who sometimes seem even more controlled from those with a behaviorism mentality. In general though I think people really care about those with disabilities and are doing their best, obviously. I just think we need some paradigm shifts in the way we address special needs.
         This week I did the masks. The first one I did was the blurry vision one with the tape over it. This one was quite the challenge. I remember being surprised as I went down the cement steps leaving the Hinckley that I needed to be more intentional. I was frustrated that I couldn't quickly float down the steps as I usually do. I wasn't surprised that my reading assignments went much slower but I was surprised that by going slower I decided to put more detail into them the masks made me more calm and less rushed in a way (especially the first two). I was surprised by the way I carried my things down this one set of steps in the library, I am usually more meticulous about how I carry my things but I just remember thinking how grateful I was to just have the stuff in my hands to move. As I looked closely at the computer screen, I was reminded of a girl in my ward who needs to look at her screen close up, and of this gentleman I saw in a family history center at Temple Square who needed the images zoomed in greatly, and needed to put his face close to the screen and roll his head around. I wished I had understood them at those points like I did as I struggled to see the screen. Part of me said, "Am I just supposed to sit around for four hours because homework feels impossible?" and then I was reminded of how many people struggle through college and fight through life with similar if not worse challenges. Suddenly those inspirational stories about overcoming physical and mental struggles came to my mind, and I didn't see them as corny or patronizing as I sometimes do (though sometimes I do think the film industry cheeses up perfectly good 'courage' stories, if that makes any sense). Changing masks was like being unleashed from a prison. The world glowed for me in a similar way that the emerald green northwest glowed when I came down from northern Alaska.The mask with the tiny holes in it was also emotional and frustrating for me, and had similar challenges. However, I found the tiny holes a little bit easier to deal with (I really ought to go back and recall what the names of those vision problems were). Understandably, people looked at me as I wore the mask. I felt so awkward and slightly less justified in wearing them than I would in having a stutter or in riding a wheelchair because the masks felt like an awkward fashion choice.  I wore a mask up to my friends office, because I wanted to see a familiar face and then went up to the classroom for a group meeting, where I felt more comraderie as I wore the mask that blocked out my middle view. That one was hard to commit too since I wanted to read, but the directions said to stare at the green paper and use my peripheral vision. Brother Cloward said that those with this problem can read through their peripheral, it's just hard. I think I felt for those people the most, not that I have any deep concept of any of those with vision impairments daily struggles. I saved the 'easiest' one for last. Having one eye pocked out seemed preferable to the other struggles.

As I walked down from the Hinckley I passed a student with his guide dog. He was talking to a student that had a mobility disorder about how it took him 5 hours to do an assignment. His friend gave his sympathy. I passed him so quickly but after I heard him speak I turned around and looked at them longingly, wishing I could naturally start a conversation or just boldly cry out, "I just wore the masks today! What vision problem do you have? I feel for you friend!"
         For my Higher Wider Deeper Project I started writing a few mood logs and gratitude journal entries during the week since both were prescribed cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) techniques. The mood logs were very calming and I felt changed by them. In a mode log you go through a process of writing down your feelings in different sections, giving a percentage of how much you resonate with that thought, writing down the cognitive distortions affecting your thinking (ex. mind reading: thinking that you know what others are thinking) and then thinking of a more positive but truthful thought. You then label a percentage on that thought of how much you believe it (it really should be above 90%). After this you give a percentage to how much you believe that previous negative thought. This process helps you break down what you are thinking, why you are thinking it, and what's real and what is subjective. It helps you get rid of the hot air in your thoughts. Next week I want to carry around a note pad in my purse to write down my negative thoughts and new thoughts to replace them with. This would be like a mini portable mood log. I also want to do my mood log every day next week. I ordered a book on CBT at the beginning of this last week so I hope that comes in soon since all of the articles I have glanced over seem to just give the basics of CBT. I have been doing group therapy, I can't really go into detail about group therapy, but I wanted to mention this at least once because I do feel it's a part of my self-application of the CBT process (even though it's not an element I am going to bing in much) in that it has made me more self-conscious of how I act, think, and feel and the sessions are mediated by a professional who tries to keep the focus on the thoughts, words, and actions happening in the session (which is very similar to the CBT philosophy). I feel I need to apply a few more CBT techniques as week as find a way to apply it or teach it to my family.

    This week I was really moved by the video Simple Justice, especially since there has been so much contention in our country about racism. I was moved by how diligent, assertive these men were and yet peaceful. It reminded me of Dr. King's movement of peaceful protesting and how that was more powerful than all of the violence of either party. I loved seeing how hard they worked for a cause they believed in, and there wasn't any fanfare about them. They seemed like humble men doing their duty which is an attitude I hope to have as I try to become a Home and Family Advocate. I struggle to confront important issues, and watching that movie made me want to be more vocal about what I believe in as well as respectful. I don't want to be the passive person who doesn't try. It's interesting how rights for other races was strongly connected to rights for the mentally challenged. When we struggle to recognize one weak and vulnerable population we struggle to recognize other ones and in the end, their rights are connected to ours. The freedom of one population is directly linked to the freedom of another population. All of our freedoms are connected.
    The vote with your feet activity in class was interesting. It's so interesting how all of the class had such a variety of stances on some stances and all were good Latter-day Saints, in similar majors, at one of the most conservative schools in the country. It's great that we are all so different and have a different perspective to bring. Some think there isn't much difference between a Child Development and a Home and Family Major or a Elementary Education major and a CD major but there are some different philosophies that are attached to those majors. It was also interesting to see that many of the 'agree' and 'disagree' people were on the same page, they just couldn't be in the middle. I think that happens a lot when it comes to hot topics. My grandfather and I have different political ideologies and it's incredible how many times we have been saying almost the exact same thing, making the same points, but still felt like we were disagreeing. We have so much more in common with others than we have differences.
    The movie on Serbia was really enlightening and I felt it shed light on the U.S too. It's incredible how much ideas, laws, and a little economic stability can encourage people to be good and how not having those delicate social restraints can encourage people to give in to their passions. Democracy is more delicate than we think. I also realized that our country still does similar things to Serbia except in a more passive way. Many abort children that they know have special needs. If Serbians had that technology they probably would abort their children more too, but because they have less of that technology, social instability, less laws, and a little more social stigma against special needs children their children are sent away to horrible institutes. We can't act like it's our better natures that protect our innocent handicapped when so many abort them and when laws are what seem to ensure the needs of those with special needs are met. I wish we were better with our special needs children, but we certainly are improving. I love the gospel where we see having special needs children as an honor. Those special spirits are here to teach us because they already passed the test of mortality.

     I figured out some more details for my Higher, Wider, Deeper Project. I am doing my project on cognitive behavior therapy, which is a type of therapy where the patient tries to change their thought processes, get rid of cognitive distortions, meditate, and look at things from a truthful but generous way. Many members from both sides of my family struggle with mental, emotional, and cognitive disorders mostly regarding ADHD, bipolar traits, and anxiety.
    There are many aspects of this 'diseases' that are learned from our past and fed by our actions that I know we could all change if we just tried to change the way we lived and saw things. Regardless of how much of my families' struggles are biological and how much are other causes I know that the spectrum of our coping with our struggles varies significantly in relation to the choices we make and the thoughts we think. I want to learn more about Cognitive Behavior Therapy so I can help my family and loved ones and also so I can change myself since I really don't want to have kids or get married as the person I am today. I want at least a few more changes in my life before I will feel ready to start my own family.
    I graduate this semester and there are many habits that I have been working on for years that have improved even within this semester. However, I still feel tripped up by the same ridiculous thought patterns, habits, fears, and emotions that I have always felt. I would be so deeply moved if my learning about and implementing CBT (as well as a few other changes I'm making) helped me alter my thoughts, feelings, habits, and lifestyle. I also want to teach my family a little even if it's indirectly.
    I plan on attending the weekly meditation sessions on campus, researching about CBT, applying different aspects of CBT to my own life, going to group counciling, teaching my family, and tracking my progress.