This week I was really moved by the video Simple Justice, especially since there has been so much contention in our country about racism. I was moved by how diligent, assertive these men were and yet peaceful. It reminded me of Dr. King's movement of peaceful protesting and how that was more powerful than all of the violence of either party. I loved seeing how hard they worked for a cause they believed in, and there wasn't any fanfare about them. They seemed like humble men doing their duty which is an attitude I hope to have as I try to become a Home and Family Advocate. I struggle to confront important issues, and watching that movie made me want to be more vocal about what I believe in as well as respectful. I don't want to be the passive person who doesn't try. It's interesting how rights for other races was strongly connected to rights for the mentally challenged. When we struggle to recognize one weak and vulnerable population we struggle to recognize other ones and in the end, their rights are connected to ours. The freedom of one population is directly linked to the freedom of another population. All of our freedoms are connected.
    The vote with your feet activity in class was interesting. It's so interesting how all of the class had such a variety of stances on some stances and all were good Latter-day Saints, in similar majors, at one of the most conservative schools in the country. It's great that we are all so different and have a different perspective to bring. Some think there isn't much difference between a Child Development and a Home and Family Major or a Elementary Education major and a CD major but there are some different philosophies that are attached to those majors. It was also interesting to see that many of the 'agree' and 'disagree' people were on the same page, they just couldn't be in the middle. I think that happens a lot when it comes to hot topics. My grandfather and I have different political ideologies and it's incredible how many times we have been saying almost the exact same thing, making the same points, but still felt like we were disagreeing. We have so much more in common with others than we have differences.
    The movie on Serbia was really enlightening and I felt it shed light on the U.S too. It's incredible how much ideas, laws, and a little economic stability can encourage people to be good and how not having those delicate social restraints can encourage people to give in to their passions. Democracy is more delicate than we think. I also realized that our country still does similar things to Serbia except in a more passive way. Many abort children that they know have special needs. If Serbians had that technology they probably would abort their children more too, but because they have less of that technology, social instability, less laws, and a little more social stigma against special needs children their children are sent away to horrible institutes. We can't act like it's our better natures that protect our innocent handicapped when so many abort them and when laws are what seem to ensure the needs of those with special needs are met. I wish we were better with our special needs children, but we certainly are improving. I love the gospel where we see having special needs children as an honor. Those special spirits are here to teach us because they already passed the test of mortality.

     I figured out some more details for my Higher, Wider, Deeper Project. I am doing my project on cognitive behavior therapy, which is a type of therapy where the patient tries to change their thought processes, get rid of cognitive distortions, meditate, and look at things from a truthful but generous way. Many members from both sides of my family struggle with mental, emotional, and cognitive disorders mostly regarding ADHD, bipolar traits, and anxiety.
    There are many aspects of this 'diseases' that are learned from our past and fed by our actions that I know we could all change if we just tried to change the way we lived and saw things. Regardless of how much of my families' struggles are biological and how much are other causes I know that the spectrum of our coping with our struggles varies significantly in relation to the choices we make and the thoughts we think. I want to learn more about Cognitive Behavior Therapy so I can help my family and loved ones and also so I can change myself since I really don't want to have kids or get married as the person I am today. I want at least a few more changes in my life before I will feel ready to start my own family.
    I graduate this semester and there are many habits that I have been working on for years that have improved even within this semester. However, I still feel tripped up by the same ridiculous thought patterns, habits, fears, and emotions that I have always felt. I would be so deeply moved if my learning about and implementing CBT (as well as a few other changes I'm making) helped me alter my thoughts, feelings, habits, and lifestyle. I also want to teach my family a little even if it's indirectly.
    I plan on attending the weekly meditation sessions on campus, researching about CBT, applying different aspects of CBT to my own life, going to group counciling, teaching my family, and tracking my progress.